Well.. I haven't posted in a while, my Cousin just reminded me of online journals, so I spent 15 minutes trying to remember what I had named this one. "PhoenixEternity.. GAH! DUH! I'm so stupid!"

Heh.

Having... Serious problems with Amy... Hurting real bad.. Cuz is tryin' to subtly let me know that I shouldn't be feeling this way...Meh... That's Cuz for ya'..

I'll wrap this up, and PROPERLY bookmark it this time.. Peace..

- Worthless Shane, The

Yeah.. Figured I'd keep it up and update my Xanga. So...

Shaun was supposed to come pick me up like 5 hours ago.. And he hasn't. I think it's odd. Maybe the stress of being suspended from his job for a week, for doing nothing, has gotten to him.. His GunBound name was suspended too. The very same day he got suspended from work. Odd fucking coincidence.

But, I heard from Shaun's neighbor, Travis, that he had a fight with his wife and just said "Fuck it" and went to sleep.

Really can't blame him.

I'm just chillin' in palace now.. Left Shaun an offline or two asking where he was, saying I was worried, etc. So.. Meh.

I talked to Amy for a bit earlier.. I got angry because she had put in her Xanga that she made out with Mitch and whatnot this weekend. I was so depressed... I kinda feel like an ass for logging out on her like I did. I came back an hour later and she was gone.. -Sighs.-

She says it's over with him, because of the thing with this other girl and whatnot. I dunno what to think.. I'm probably treading where I shouldn't.. I should just leave her alone. I know. I'm going to cause problems.

I dunno what to think anymore.

Maybe I will just... Go away..

- Shane, The

I lost track of two whole days.. And I feel so horrible 'cause I haven't seen Amy in those two days. I got swept up the first day and taken somewhere to spend the night.. Got like 8 hours of sleep, which is pretty good for me spending the night at a friend's house. Got home.. And Punk/Goth Ashley shows up at my house. After not talking to me for like 7 months. So, I get depressed, 'cause I used to have a thing for her... And she BROUGHT HER BOYFRIEND WITH HER. The one she just turned her back on me for, and ran off with.

I had to restrain myself like mad not to knock his ass out. I came SO close.

zZz.. Talked to Lauren today.. I think I have to stop talking to her and Nikki and whoever else is becoming attached to me.. Just so they won't be so clingy and shit and take it really hard if I happen to get with Amy.. Or whatever.

I dunno.. If Mitch not talking to Amy for two days before we started talking again, was a sign that we should get back together? I think this might be a personal test of how well I can resist temptation and whatnot... It's taken me this long to learn my lessons, I won't blow my hard earned work...

I know I"m subject jumping like a ho. But I'm in a rush, don't want the people I'm talking to in Palace to be left hanging. zZz. But.. Just thought I'd update..

...I want to see Amy soon.. I miss 'er...

- Shane, The

Yeah.. Fairly sure I lost Lani as a friend, yesterday.. I had been up for like 3 days straight, due to the fact that I was so depressed I couldn't even sleep.

She said some things that were true, she said some things that really hurt, and most of all.. Yeah, it was my fault.

I won't get into any more detail, 'cause that's one of the only things that are so personal to me they won't even be put into my Xanga.

Yeah...

Talkin' to Amy at the mo', cheering me up like all kinds of mad. Listening to some techno remix from the DragonBall Z series. It's cool... It's Vegeta's Theme. -Just checked.- And it's the Dragonball GT techo remix of his theme.

But she wants me to head into chat, so I'm just going to end it.. Talking about my problems in Xanga is very weak compared to spending time with Amy... So.. Later..

- Shane, The

...I'm such an idiot... Crying 'cause she had to go to sleep, 'cause she has work tomorrow..

I'm getting attached... God.. So quickly.. I can't fucking help it.. Being in her presence again, talking with her again... Fucking... Heart-clenching, yet... Giving me the sensation a huge weight's being lifted off my soldiers every time she says something..

...I'm so fucking hopeless...

- Shane